


enough

by nerds_dilema



Series: hotb stories ! [2]
Category: Hands of the Broken, Original Work
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29416533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerds_dilema/pseuds/nerds_dilema
Summary: jaci and aurelia have a conversation that's been long coming.
Relationships: Jaci Reid/Aurelia Ward, Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Series: hotb stories ! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160984
Kudos: 1





	enough

The TV screen buzzes and hums, and the darkened room allows them to see the screen better. Jaci's scarred hands pull Aurelia in tight, resting her chin on the top of Aurelia's head, golden hair tousled up and bunched around her shoulders as Jaci plays with the strands.

Jaci grumbles, a low noise that Aurelia can feel resonating through her body. It's calming, in a way. It reminds her that this is real, that she's worked this hard to be in this class, that she's okay. 

"...Aurelia?" Jaci asks, low voice vibrating in her chest. Aurelia turns in her arms to face her, pressing a cold palm against her back. Her black hair falls and curls in front of her eyes, the scar on the side of her cheek bright against her skin.

"Am I a bad person?" She mumbles out, turning her head to the side to avoid looking at Aurelia's face when she asks it. She knows she'll get an honest answer. Aurelia doesn't lie, even if it's about sensitive questions like that. It’s what Jaci needs. Someone who won’t sugarcoat the answer, who isn’t syrupy and doesn’t put the silver lining around the plate. Aurelia’s heard so many lies and Jaci’s been lied to so often that they both crave the truth.

"No. Not at all," Aurelia responds, using her index finger to push Jaci's face back to looking at her, the pad of her finger pressing against Jaci’s jaw. Aurelia smiles at her, soft lips curling up, adjusting her shirt as she rests her head against Jaci’s chest and listens to her heart beat.

"There's a lot of bad people in this world, but you aren't one of them. Sure, maybe a gruff idiot from time to time, but you're nice to all of the kids here. You don't hesitate to save anyone. You want nothing but the best for other people. Bad people are selfish, Jaci," She whispers, words soft and rolling off her tongue. It leaves a sweet taste in her mouth, speaking about Jaci in the best of ways, like a sweet cup of coffee, harsh and intense but honeyed and warm.

"I just... I don't know, I'm mean and unlawful and I'd do anything to reach my goals. I stopped caring about people for the longest time and I snap at people even if they don't deserve it. I... You deserve someone  _ so _ much better than me, Aurie..." Her voice falters, breaking on the last few words as she tries to push back tears, pressing her palms into her eyes to try and hide from the world. Aurelia hates it when she’s in pain, because it’s someone who’s so strong and thinks that she’s not allowed to show weakness, trying to hide whatever she’s feeling from the rest of the world. 

The feeling of thinking she isn’t good enough bubbles up inside her, wrapping around her chest and shaking her ribcage. It makes her feel wrong, makes her feel numb, makes her feel like there's ink in her heart. It rises up like bile in her throat, chokes her out and stops her from speaking. The numb feeling that comes along with anger tries to roar up, and it’s hard to not just let everything build up.

But her words are harsh as she forces them out, ink rolling off of every word coming from her mouth. Her tongue feels like lead, and the only reason she feels real is because Aurelia's warm hands and body are pressed up close to her. Aurelia has always kept her grounded when she’s on the verge of dissociating, when she’s too far gone in her own emotions, when she can’t recognize the dried blood on her skin. 

Aurelia scootches up closer, moving Jaci's hands and gently cupping her face. She swipes off rolling tears with her thumbs, smiling gently. Jaci leans into her touch, face worn and unsmiling, red eyes shut and weary.

"Hey. Hey. Jace, you've always been good enough. No matter what. You've had bad days and you've gone through a lot to be here, and you've jumped on the chance to save our classmates even if we should've waited. You taught yourself how to love and care again, even if it's in the gruffest way possible. I love you." Jaci slowly starts to break down, each word piercing through the ink barrier in her chest like a golden arrow, each fitted to match Aurelia, glowing and in her colors. She’s always thought she was an angel, with golden hair and wires floating around her head, honey eyes illuminated with affection.

For the first time in ages, she feels like she can maybe learn to be enough. She feels like she can hold Aurelia and convince herself that she's worthy to do so. She feels lighter, a weight off her chest lifted, dark lead in the pit of her lungs turning to gold like Aurelia word’s have the Midas touch, crystallizing and purifying the emotions that make her rot from the inside out.

"Thank you. Thank you, Aurie," She cries, clutching onto her like she's her lifeboat, like she's the only thing grounding her. Aurelia lets her pour her emotions out, she doesn’t tell her it’s okay, because sometimes things are overwhelming and it’s okay to cry. Jaci thinks of Mara, because she assumes that an angel sent her another angel. Someone who would be there for her, who would convince her she’s enough, that she doesn’t need to turn her selflessness into self-destruction.

Aurelia holds her, turning off the buzzing TV to help the girl who had shut everyone out when she first arrived at the school. To help the girl who had learned how to love after she lost the only sister she would ever have, to help the girl who comforted her when she thought that she would become a monster because of the blood running through her veins, because of the deep bruises and patched up skin.

She shuts off the buzzing TV to help the girl she loves.   
  



End file.
